BigBlog

Well alot has happened since i last wrote in here . The Boy that i was seeing and possibly falling for moved to sydney which i dident think would affect me that much but now that i cant see him every day it really does make alot of difference to the dinamics of our Relationship/friendship because i think its because we never actually put a title to it , either we are both too stubbourn or im not too sure , but what ever happened it dident end the way i thought it would , we are still great friends talk everyday ,but i have not sein him since he left which i find hard some days , simply because i enjoy his company so much  <3
I dont really know but i know now i liked him alot more then i first thought which is embarresing to say now , but i do /did  what ever I dont know really how to explain it , but wen he did have to leave my house the day he moved i got way more upset then i first thought i would , which suprised me ,   Alot , N Now i find him in my thoughts alot more but i am one of those people that just like a straight answer wit how others feel towards me , and since he has never given a straight answer in his life im finding it difficult to see where i fit !

I just need a simple asnwer to see if im not wasting my time on this person . But its alot harder to get an answer then it is to ask the question in this situation i guess

I am thankful to have all the important people i have in my life at the moment but to realise how important some one is after they leave ur life is not fun and does not sit well wit me at all. Im not used to feeling like this  , im not "that girl that falls for guys easily" really im not i was in relationships for the last 6 years and to meet someone that makes me change my idea of the perfect boy really confusses me to no end !!

Well in one week i lost my best mate , Done my own head in , yelled at ppl that really did not deserve it , Met Micks Ex girlfriend and she is stunning , pretty much given up on uni , got acussed of sleeping with one of my best male mates in the world by the rest of the world , wondered about my ex more and more then sein him with his new gf who is 3 months pregnant !!

(We broke up in may) dam he doesent waste time , But yeah that is my catch up and now i am done with the world , and going into hybernation

 I think This boy could be my reason to stop being single , He could be the boi i would stop being single for , and bring my guard down , Not too sure yet But will keep u posted , At the moment we are everything but the title , But not quit yet willing to change my opinion on boys just yet!
Everything wit his ex is gone , She is now with some one else , and he knows how i feel about it , he respects that i felt weird about it , and i trust him , Probably cause i am crazy about him....<3

Well ok here is the short version of it !

I was in the messyiest break up in history (no im not joking ppl will study it) well anyway i have bein single since cause i dont want to be apart of that again , and well i have met this amazing guy , He is funny smart , sweet treats me great , doesent get jelous and really layed back and not fussed about things . Sounds perfect hey ? well their is one problem , he has an ex girlfriend who dident have the messiest break up wit ,

She walked out on him about a month ago cause she wanted some one else. After they had moved in together so now the house is his , well anyway They are still friends and he swears he wont go back to her , Or anything like that but we agreed not to take things serious until things are sorted with her and him at least ,

But he makes it hard not to fall for him , we txt each other all day long and i spend alot of time with him , But now she is questioning him and everything he does , and It confusses him cause he still wants to just be friends with her ,but does not think its fair on me until she is completely out of the picture , But he is a too nicer guy to tell her that he does not want anything to do with her ,

I mean honestly i think wen ur together for 2 yrs or what ever it was and u break up u need some space from each other but they only stopped talking for a week , And now its getting messy cause we both like each other alot and we both know that , but i am not willing to put my feelings out until i  know im not going to get hurt or anything , and he is not willing to put his feelings out until he knows exactly how he feels ,

She confusses him and makes him angry , and questions him about me , I have never met the girl so i have no reason not to like her , but i am just worried now , and cant help but compare myself to her , They liked each other for 4 yrs! and have broken up b4 , but he swears he wont go back cause he cant trust her , But he wants to be her friend and she wants him to be hers , Is this fair to anyone?

I just dont really think exs can be friends straight away until u know the feelings have either changed or u realise why u were bad for each other , I mean their is an X their for a reason ,! right?

 

 See *The darker one* Next to me??  That is jazz now dont get me wrong she is my best friend and i love her to death but damm she drives me crazy , Their is no method to her madness , She does stupid things all the time and just expects to get away with them I am not sure why , but u know wat really gets me?

It works , She does get away wit it , its like she is un touchable , and she just gets everything handed to her ,! It drives me up the wall! I swear if i did not know her as well as i did and we had not gone threw as much as we had , i would walk past her in a street , and think nothing of it! Which kind of upsets me really , i mean arnt u supposed to want to be around ur best friend?

She frustrates me no end which does my head in like u would not believe . I love her and would die if sumthn happened , But she is not the person i knew , and i am not that niev to think that ppl dont change but to be perfectly honest i think she has changed for the worse ,

I respect she has bein in a relationship for a while now and always will be in a relationship but that is not me , I am not the clone of her nor is she the clone of me , I am not the "relationship" type , apparently  Which also upsets me cause i know everyone has a label , But im not quit sure "not the relationship type" should b mine . Im not the party girl . or the popular girl or the "marrying type" but i do think wen i do find another "right person"

I could be seen as the "relationship type" , I respect that all ppl are different , Me an jazz especiially but what makes us very diferent , and seperates us alot (besides our skin tone) is the simple fact that i would never judge jazz on anything she done is doing or going to do , But some how i am alway on the firing line of her harsh critisim , And un thought out "opinions" on how i should live my life , It really badily makes my head spin ,

I mean Really , i support u and all the stupid fuckn things that go on in ur crazy world and yes i respect ur opinion

But some times a "im happy Ur Happy" Goes a long way